Entitlement

It is a mystery to me how people individually, and as groups, have developed this concept that they are entitled to something. It can be anything from support from their friends and families to you-name-it from the government. I was in relationship with a man for most of my life who had the absolute belief that the "world" owed him something and I never figured out where that came from or how he expected it to be delivered to him. I tried my best but whatever I did was never enough. I am not lamenting or regretting anything about the above statement - I am just pondering the concept. It seems to me that we are only entitled to what we can earn for ourselves. When I use the term "earn" I mean that we are each responsible for doing our part in relationships, including jobs, instead of expecting that things will just come to us with no effort on our part. All relationships that are healthy, and that survive over time, involve give and take on both sides. I have had to abandon relationships in my lifetime with people I really cared about because the other person was not willing to participate in that process. In some cases there was so much negativity it was killing my soul, in others there was absolutely no participation from the other party. In the latter case it was just taken for granted that I would always be there for them and be willing to do all the work to maintain the relationship. I still just don't get it but I have learned to recognize those situations and move on......

Doing "Nothing"

For those of us who are over-achievers, just sitting and "doing nothing" seems an impossible concept. In the last few years I have discovered that even when we are "doing nothing", we are "doing something'. Maybe the "something" is just spending quiet time alone trying to get our thoughts together. In one case I deliberately tried to do nothing and wound up watching leaves fall just to occupy my mind. Did you know that leaves have lots of different ways to fall off of a tree? Some do a dive bomb, stem down, rushing to the ground as fast as possible, maybe they are just trying to get the journey over with in a hurry. Others float down like a parachute, using all their surface to stay afloat meandering side to side, stretching the journey out as long as possible. Others still toss themselves down through the limbs and other leaves, crashing multiple times, prolonging the journey but also inflicting pain on themselves and everything in their way. HMMMMM!! Sounds like some people I know on this earthly journey....

Long Term Effects

Some of the actions we take without much thought, except for handling a circumstance at the time, can have long term effects that are amazing. Cases in point - my two girls had developed habits based on actions I took when they were newborns that I did not realize was related until very late in my life. In one case, because I had to stay with my parents during the first year of my first daughter's life, I made a decision that still impacts her today. In that situation there was a lot of noise in the house with a lot of people coming and going. My simple solution to allow my daughter to have her naps during the day was to put a radio in the crib with her and keep it playing music all day long. She still wants to have music or something playing most of the time in her house and in the car as well. When my second daughter was born we had a house to ourselves and I made everyone be very quiet when she needed to nap or sleep. It took her a long time after she was married to be able to nap or sleep with any noise in the bedroom. If only we could have conscious understanding of the long term effects of some of our choices.......on others as well as ourselves.

Choices

Whether we realize it or not, we make small and large choices every day that set the course of our lives. We have been doing that, in some cases, even before we came into this life. We have a choice even concerning choices - we can choose to accept responsibility for the choices we have made in the past or we can deny acknowledging that we did. Either way, we are each who, what and where we are as a result of our own choices. The sooner we deal with that fact the sooner we will be able to chart the course for our future lives by taking charge of our choices going forward. That was one of those hard choices I made in my life - accepting responsibility for my past choices. Now to be more concious of the teeny tiny and large choices I am making as I live every day.