Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Mountains
At one time I thought the Rocky Mountains were the ultimate for me. Then I lived in Denver for three years and realized they did not fulfill all my needs. When I wound up in North Carolina and discovered the Blue Ridge Mountains I found that those did satisfy my needs in so many ways that I may not have yet discovered them all. I get the same feeling as I described above, but so much more. Not all of which I understand at this point.
I will just keep learning.....
Friday, May 15, 2009
Communications of all kinds personal...
The thoughts we have that trigger the other elements can have multiple meaning as well. In some cases we may just communicate the first thing that flows through our brain, in others we may have an internal dialogue to decide how to communicate the thought. Neither of these processes may take into consideration how the other person will perceive and/or accept the communication, but in some cases it may, either consciously or unconsciously.
The question is, do you have any idea what your communications mean? I have struggled with this area all my life. There are times when the reaction I get from those with whom I have communicated is an absolute shock because their interpretation of what I said or did was so wildly different than what I thought I communicated, I sometimes wonder if I was speaking in tongues.
In some cases, particularly with women, the listener is influenced by their own "stuff", be it hormonal, experiential or just plain bias. By bias, I mean that there are some people who have such a strong opinion of who and what they think you are, they are not listening in an open way. They have already decided what is going to come from you before you even know. This is also true of men and is colored by the difference in gender as well as their other "stuff". The most frustrating thing about this process is that I don't seem to be able to talk the other person into reexaming the conversation to get it understood in the way that I meant.
I could add to this concept at great length and go off on all kinds of tangents. But I will end this post with a classical case that drives me insane. When I am communicating with someone who is much younger than I am and their response alludes to the thought that what I just said reminded them of their grandmother, I know they have made a decision about me based on what they think my age is and all communication will be accepted through that filter.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
What was I thinking???
In my case, as with most people of my generation, I was raised by parents who had lived through the depression and most of their actions were tempered by that experience. I can name a thousand ways that experience trickled down to me, some related to money, others related to food and clothing, along with a plethora of other areas. My reaction to those experiences has not only affected my life, but that of my children and my grandchildren.
I at least finally came to the realization that my parents did the best they could do with what they knew and at some point stopped blaming them for the lack in my life. I have known many people who spent their entire lives blaming their parents for the way their life turned out instead of taking responsibility for themselves and their actions. I can only hope that my children and grandchildren reach that same conclusion about me at a much earlier point in their lives so they can get on with making their time on this planet, this time around, a much better experience for them and their children.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
TIME
Where does the time go???? I thought it had been a few weeks since I posted, but it turns out to be a few months. I got so wrapped up in the elections and the transition that I have spent all my time checking the details - hardly leaving time to live. I went from never watching commercial TV or news of any kind to being totally consumed by it. Whatever the average time an American spends watching TV I have dramatically exceeded it.
The end result is that here we are with another year almost gone and what do I have to show for it??? Not that I use this transition from one year to the next to assess my accomplishments or develop a list of resolutions. That activity takes place in relation to my birthday since that is my measure of the time called years.
Now the year I referred to has passed and I am still in quandary about where the time goes. I have referred to my theory before that I have lived multiple lives this time around, in this body, in this dimension. There was the time I spent as a small child, born into a family that did not necessarily want a baby girl in the mix. Then there was the time I spent before becoming a teenager that is just a blur. Most people seem to spend that time becoming who they will be as adults, I just don't remember doing that. I know I spent a lot of time alone, playing games I made up in my head - mostly related to "playing house". The teenage years were sheer hell for me. I can remember my fourteenth birthday very clearly because I hated myself and everyone around me at that time. I never did quite master being "me" during that time, primarily because it did not seem important to me or anyone else that I become a separate entity.
OK, that went too far to the dark side. So I think I'll just end this rant and pick it up at a later time when my frame of mind is better. Bottom line: time is the most precious "thing" you own, use it wisely every minute of every day!!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
THINGS can own you instead of you owning THINGS!!!
When I moved from Denver back to Atlanta I got rid of the majority of my THINGS. There were multiple reasons for that decision, one of which was that I was tired of paying to maintain a home that I do not live in. (It is a long story about why that was true.) So, I decided to not have a place of my own for a while and planned to just put everything in storage until I decide what to do for the long term. I also realized that I had too many THINGS. The primary item that concerned me was a beautiful twig bed that had been custom made to my specifications by a craftsman in Georgia and I had concluded that the bed actually owned me. I had moved that bed all over the country and even had it in storage at one time. I had even loaned it to my granddaughter for a while and at this point I can't even remember why. When I moved to Denver I was constrained by what kind of dwelling I could buy purely on whether or not the twig bed could be brought into the house. Is that rediculous? I think so now, but I did not get it at the time. Don't get me wrong, I loved that bed and had many years of sleeping in it and decorating it to reflect different locations and seasons of the year wherever I was. It was my safe haven for years. Now that I think back on its history, I slept alone in that bed the entire time I had it, or it had me.
I also had other furniture that I had acquired at garage or estate sales as well as hand-me-downs from family that I got rid of as well. I had TVs, stereos and other electronic gadgets in every room, which I did not need. The Salvation Army and Goodwill people were happy to help me "down-size". I also gave THINGS to friends and co-workers that made them very happy as well.
When I left Denver on my way back to Atlanta I only brought with me the things that would fit in my Dodge Durango, which was still a lot of THINGS. Of course I had also shipped some THINGS back via UPS before I got to the point of loading my car for the long road trip back.
I still have way too many boxes full of THINGS that I have not yet been able to let go of to this point. I have looked at the THINGS in the boxes and most of them have some sentimental value and are not just THINGS that I have acquired.
I'm just trying hard to not acquire any more things at this point unless it is something I absolutely have to have to live.
When I have another place of my own I will be very selective about what I bring into my space. I will really have to love it for it to become part of my life.